"I'll never forgive my mum for that!"

"I can't forgive myself!"

Do these expressions sound familiar? When we refuse to forgive somebody, what we are actually implying is that instead of taking some actions to improve matters, you prefer to live in the past and blame somebody for it. When we won't forgive ourselves, we are actually choosing to remain feeling guilty so that we can put ourselves through some mental torture. Some people might think that by not forgiving their mother (or anybody for that matter) for being nasty, it is their mother's problem. But the truth is, it is not their mother's problem, it is theirs! When we refuse to forgive, we suffer as most of the time the "guilty" person doesn't even know what is going on in our head. The person continues with life as usual while we put ourselves through much pain and unhappiness.

We all make mistakes and sometimes we even do stupid things, yet we are still doing it the best way we know. Our parents brought us up the best way they knew based on the information they had and the example that was set for them. Parenthood is something new to them, thus to blame them endlessly for a lousy job of parenting is not being fair to them. Some people never forgive their parents and screw up their own lives just to show to their parents what lousy job they did! Their message is, "It is your fault that I'm broke, lonely and unhappy, so now you watch me suffer!"

Unforgiveness is one of the greatest causes of sickness because a sour mind creates a sour body. So long as we hold other people as being guilty and responsible for our unhappiness, we are refusing to admit to our own responsibility. Blaming others gets us nowhere. If something is done, it is done. Griping about it changes nothing. It's easy to blame others for our misfortune but it won't make you any happier. In fact, dwelling on what others did to you will only make you miserable because you are focusing on the negative side and that will make you miserable and unable to see the positive side. Forgive them, not for their sake but for your own mental health. The moment we stop blaming others, we are in a position to take some actions to improve things. As we change, others change. As we alter our attitude towards others, they begin to alter their behaviour too. Somehow, the moment we choose to change the way we see things, others will respond to our change accordingly.

Are you ready to forgive your parents, loved ones, friends and make yourself happy again? If forgiving others is difficult, forgiving ourselves is even harder. Do you want to give yourself a chance to forgive yourself?

Part 6>>